It's been a really tough summer for all of us. The day after school let out for the summer, I hit the road with Penguin Girl and Mr. Destructo to stay with my folks. My mom was about to start hospice care and she had been looking forward to seeing Penguin Girl. My mom's condition had seemed fairly stable for the past few months but within a week or so of our arrival, it was obvious that we were nearing the end. As July started, the whole situation was very difficult. We were all trying to get her to eat more but she just couldn't. She looked so very thin and listless. When she stopped eating, my mom slept all day but in the evening she would become very restless and cry out in pain and fear. I couldn't tell if she even knew we were there. It almost seemed like when a child has night terrors. The hospice nurses called it terminal agitation and equated its appearance in the evenings with Alzheimers patients sundowning.
Penguin Girl has known for a long time that Po-po had cancer and that she was dying. But seeing the terminal agitation made it very real for her. The first night that Penguin Girl witnessed it, she dissolved into tears as she was getting ready for bed. I gave her the choice of going back home since at that point Car Guy had taken Mr. Destructo home to take care of some things. Penguin Girl said she'd think about it. Ultimately, she decided to stay. I'd often find her sitting quietly at Po-po's bedside while she slept, which was so sweet and heartbreaking to see.
My mom left us on Thursday, July 12. Her funeral was a week later. Penguin Girl decided she wanted to stay with Po-po until the very end when she was cremated. It was very hard to see Penguin Girl so sad but I'm proud of how much love and compassion she showed her grandmother in those last days. A while ago, Penguin Girl gave Po-po an art project she made at school. It looked like a tiny handwoven rug. I tucked that into the pocket of my mom's purse, the one my dad chose to be cremated with her. So she'd have something from Penguin Girl to hold onto in her next life.
